Leftos The Blog

The number one topic of conversation in music, television, and movies is a mystery — but one that’s a lot more interesting than UFOs, has nothing to do with crime, and doesn’t even necessarily involve much action at all. It’s love. Love, one of the most annoying emotions on the planet, inspires a slew of other unsightly feelings. Jealousy, envy, anger, suspicion, fear, obligation, an embarrassing desire to serve another. Yet, we love to put ourselves through love. Everyone just wants to find that special someone with whom they can screw, fight, and have awkward conversations about ex boyfriends and girlfriends with. Why do we do it? Can clinical psychology explain love?

Chemical Reactions in the Brain

Less clinical psychology and more neuroscience, chemical reactions in the brain as a basis for love have been a big part of figuring out why you hate your girlfriend’s male friends, even if they’re gay. Even evolutionary psychology is in on studying love, providing us with the idea that language was invented as a type of mating call. We are animals, after all. On the side of neuroscience, chemicals like dopamine (happiness, decision making), estrogen and testosterone, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin have been studied to explain love. These chemicals can be expected to be found at varying intensities according to what stage the relationship is in. For example, the attraction phase of a relationship draws out different chemicals than the ‘bonding phase’, and we all know that testosterone and estrogen are associated with sexuality and boners.

Interpersonal Behavior, or Buying Overpriced Crap for your Girlfriend’s Birthday

Clinical psychology describes interpersonal experiences as interactions between two people which are conveyed by certain behavior and with certain intensity. So interpersonal behavior is basically all the interactions had between two members of a relationship. You bought your girlfriend tickets to see Michael Buble because she loves them, and you’ve agreed to go even though you would rather have a colonoscopy. Psychologist Scott Peck was talking about these types of interpersonal behaviors when he said “Love is a combination of concern for the spiritual growth for another and simple narcissism. Love is an activity, not simply a feeling.”

Narcissism

There’s truth to Peck’s statement in on many levels, according to clinical psychology and life in general. A big part of love is narcissism indeed. You know your girl loves that boring jerk Buble, so you bought the tickets for her despite your hatred. You also know she’ll be thrilled with you for buying them, another factor which overrides your pride and general desire to avoid situations which make you want to gouge your eyes out. You’re looking forward to the praise. There are other narcissistic aspects to a relationship as well. You want your girl to look good — then, she makes you look good. You want your friends and family to love her, think she’s funny and smart — this also makes you look good and seem like you have good judgment, taste in women, and must be an outstanding gentleman to have snagged such a catch.

Love as an Activity

“I love you so much, I could just do nothing with you forever.” We’ve all heard that load of crap before. No matter how much a person means that in the heat of the moment, it simply isn’t true. Change and activity are vital to a thriving relationship, even if those activities are based on simple routines which haven’t changed in decades. To keep things interesting or just to be sure that special someone is still interested in you, everyone needs affection at least once in a while. The ‘activities’ this involves is categorized by clinical psychology as anything from leaving sweet notes to organizing an extravagant vacation.

Just Go With It

The truth is that neither clinical psychology, behavioral psychology, neuroscience nor cultural studies have been able to explain love — but they’re all influencing factors. If you think you’re getting those nauseating fuzzy feelings for someone, just go with it — or run away as quick as you can. The best thing you can do is to try and stay in touch with your own icky sticky emotions, difficult as that may be. Understanding your own emotions is the best way to get a hold of and control them, which is especially useful when trying to quell the less enjoyable feelings such as jealousy and suspicion. One thing clinical psychology does know for sure about love is that the basic emotions tend to be the same, as do stages of the relationship. If you feel like you’re repeating yourself with the ‘find a hot girl, court her, get really passionate about it, quietly settle in with her’ routine, that’s because most everyone else is as well. Despite understanding the basics, love is a mystery science simply can’t explain. Odds are, there won’t be a concrete explanation for love for years. It may not ever happen. Just attempt to keep your love healthy, lest you wish to fall into the pit of lovesickness — not recognized by clinical psychology but widely accepted as a real thing — and off yourself.

We don’t normally cover health care issues (we by no means are experts in medical billing and coding) but since we are huge advocates of safe sex and healthy living, we thought you may find it interesting to see exactly why medical costs are so high.  This infographic uses stitches as an example but you can get the idea of how medical treatments related to sex can be so high as well.  It’s just another reason why we stress safe sex so much here at Leftos!

Source: MedicalBillingandCoding.Org

Like Flies on Poop

I’m pretty sure that confidence is a scent that the opposite sex can smell. In fact, the science of psychology states there is indeed a second sense of smell that all humans have, and it’s found in their brain. Well, whatever that sense is, it’s been working overtime for me (even though there still remain some days where you just have to ‘fake it ‘til you make it’).

I have gone through so many stages this summer. The first month after breaking up with my ex was difficult – it was weird and awkward being single. My second month I went just a smidge sexually crazy (sarcasm abound), the third month was spent out of the country, bonding with close girlfriends… Now I feel like I am finally finding my footing four months in (I foresee an extension of my Journey). Strangely enough, it feels like it’s been much longer; we’ll have to see what the next two months bring.

Since month #2, I have been constantly hot, bothered, and just plain horny. Once my motor has been turned over and revved, it’s ON. Yesterday was no different, and I gave in to the delicious internal urge by calling my friendly neighborhood fuck buddy Irish. He told me he was home and, why, of course I could come over to his place for a not-so-quick romp! Honestly, two part question: what guy is going to say no to sex, and what the hell would be wrong with me to turn that down?

Let me just tell you – I completely forgot how perfect Irish’s dick is. How wonderfully big and thick. Just thinking about it gets my juices flowing… Let me take a moment and share some of my unedited notes from my personal journal:

“Yummmmmmm just got me some Irish. What an amazing penis. Oh my god. I have big hands and can barely fit my fingers around it. And I need two hands above each other for the length. Lord help me. Absolutely satisfying. Gets my heart going. And he’s a sweetie to boot. He might be moving to ________. What am I going to do?”
Ok ladies, there are guys that are endowed (score!), and then there are the guys that are endowed and know how to use it (think Hung on HBO). And you enjoy every sacred moment of it so thoroughly regardless of whether you come, and even without the ultimate receipt of sugar cookies. Yes. That’s THIS guy.

But I’ve been sidetracked… It seems that my ever-expanding confidence is rising, and men are attracted to it like puppies and slippers.

Proof: I was unwinding and laying about my bedroom when I was unexpectedly and randomly texted by a younger guy to whom I haven’t spoken in a bit. It happens that he’s a very good-looking kid (even my mom describes his family as gorgeous) but I always viewed him as my good friend’s baby brother so it’s more than a little odd for me. Odd and quite possibly out of contention. Figured he’d be good at least for conversation, naughty as it is, so I had fun with him. Sexting is almost always worth it. It gives you a sexy little secret… And who knows, maybe when I get into my new place I’ll hold a private housewarming party. I’ll just make sure to be up front with him like I am with everyone else: NO RELATIONSHIPS!

I must be exuding this new Eau de Confidence… First, my new hairdresser (who I didn’t mention because he’s taken, but is hot, straight, funny, and sexy). Then, Irish (who needs no introduction). Then Sexy Young One II (who, by the way, shared a very special photo with me – impressive). And it’s not even Saturday… Hot Damn. Can I bottle this?

-Amalie Paris

Follow me on Twitter @AmalieParis so we can chat!



The Weirdos Come Out With The Rain

Instead of earthworms, the thunderclouds exhume the jerks and the freaks are summoned from the dirt and the pits of despair. Avert your eyes… It’s going to get ugly.

Kay and I went out last night on our weekly ritual of hottie-hunting. We were especially geeked for this particular outing because I’m heading out of the country for three weeks. I was feeling pretty naughty so I wore sexier makeup than usual. However, what we failed to notice was that the cards were clearly stacked against us: (1) the weather wasn’t cooperative; and (2) I had forgotten my driver’s license at home. Fortunately I had another form of ID, but that wasn’t enough to negate what should have been big, red, flashing, neon, warning signs.

After eating dinner and waiting for the dreary rain to stop, we checked out the nearby basement club. The two other nights we had been there had seen little success. I thought it’d be the charmed third time, but no. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Most of the people there were already coupled up and then Kay and I saw, at the same time, Creepy Hat Guy (CHG).

Quick history: We had met CHG another night when he was out with friends. We got late night food with them, but he ended up pushing his legs against Kay’s under the table and generally being an all-around Olympic-level drunk and asshole. We have since spotted him at almost every place we have frequented in that city. Hence, his given title and the reason we (try so very badly to) avoid him like the plague.

Upon spotting him, Kay and I decided that we needed to leave immediately and we headed down the street to another local bar. Not ten minutes later, we see Creepy Hat Guy. He had followed us!!! Slightly unnerving.

We made attempts to shrug him off by going to the back bar, but he followed us AGAIN. It almost got to the point where I suggested we go to the ladies room, but in spite of the trouble, we started our rounds to see if there were any guys worthy of our attention. Not really. There was this immensely tall guy (at least 6′4″), but his face was nothing to write home about. He leaned against me while I was walking by as if to start talking, and I just smiled, put my hand up, and said, no. Never broke my stride.

[I always know what type of mood I'm in based on my reactions to people. I knew then that it'd be an interesting night. You might think that I would just be in one particular mood some day or evening, but I’m just not that simple.]

We took a spot at the bar rail and people-watched, one of our favorite pastimes. Lately, I’ve realized lately that one of the best parts about being leggy with a C-cup (but more so, confident) is that you can pick and choose who you hang out with and talk to… This, again, may seem basic, but trust me, I was a slow learner for whatever reason (could be that I was a late bloomer). I’m sure making up for that!

At some point, Ian (a.k.a. Hairguy) approaches. He’s cute (though, as his namesake indicates, in need of a serious haircut) and built. He’s in! He’s chatting up both of us and trying to get a vibe as to which of us he wants to try and get. Again, let me repeat, he’s in. And then…

BAM!

He ruins it – completely fucks it up. The man cock-blocked himself. Out of the blue, after some innocuous questions about what we do for a living, my answer of “attorney for small companies” crashes us headfirst, with no seatbelts, through the windshield, into an onslaught of a godforsaken political and constitutional law conversation. Did I mention we were in a bar? At 12:30 in the morning?? I may be a lawyer who loves to argue, but I was definitely NOT drinking enough for this particular conversation.

[Note to men: This is a huge no-no. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT talk hard-core politics to complete strangers! Come to think of it, don’t even attempt it with the soft-core politics. You’re just not good enough and we don’t want to hear it.]

Poor Kay was barraged with questions about the definitions of “liberal” and “conservative,” and looked like she had encountered her own personal hell of a intelligence pop quiz. Personally, I’m not entirely sure what the hell happened except that Hairguy went from ‘in like Flynn’ to OUT in the time it takes for an airbag to deploy. The silver lining? While Hairguy was jabbering about health care, CHG came our way and (thank goodness) kept walking. Oh, the small miracles…

In the midst of our “conversation,” Hairguy reached behind us, grabbed his beer and took a sip. Only it wasn’t his beer. He stopped and apologized for drinking our beer; that’s when Kay and I realized… It wasn’t ours either. You should have seen his face when we both said, “That’s not our beer.”

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my entire life.

Eventually Hairguy took a breath, saw the damage, and went his own way (but not until after a random sweaty guy got awfully close to dripping on Hairguy and me). Mentally exhausted, Kay and I took seats at an open table and another small miracle occurred: a chance at redemption for the evening in the form of two new guys. Again, CHG passed by behind them (cue Twilight Zone music)…

We decided to dance with the boys but even that didn’t last long because Hairguy came back and starting dancing. Surprisingly, he wasn’t that that bad. But as people tend to get tired when drunk, he soon went home. But the night gets better – wait for it…

Less than five minutes later, some freak started literally rubbing against Kay’s ass, and if that wasn’t enough, he legitimately started freaking on her (Urban Dictionary defines “freaking” as “obscene dancing which simulates sex by the grinding the of the genitalia with suggestive sounds/movements, often done to pop or hip hop or rap music.”). There is NO amount of alcohol in the world that makes that okay.

I’d had enough. These lunatics had crossed the line. I had been rained on, my night out ruined, left my license at home, I wasn’t even buzzed, we’d been followed all night by a creep, we were forced to listen to someone harangue us with politics for thirty minutes (a challenge even when they share similar beliefs), and now this ASSHOLE was freaking my friend. Just as Kay was trying to inch away, I turned to glare at him and shoved him hard. Seriously, there must have been a look of danger on my face because he immediately and repeatedly started apologizing.

There are times when you need to know to admit defeat and call it a night. Nightmare was more like it. I am sad to say that there was almost nothing of redeeming value (shy of the random beer gulp), which is quite depressing – what a waste of a cute outfit and hot makeup. Maybe when I return in three weeks, Kay and I will have just a little more luck. Cross your fingers. In the meantime, I guess I’m having a ménage-a-trois with Jill, Miss Michigan, and myself.

-Amalie Paris

Follow me over on Twitter @AmalieParis

Our friends over at The Campus Socialite shared with us this easy step by step process that helps break down what kind of girl is the right one for you.  Never before has finding the “right one” been easier. [Click image to enlarge]

Via: Online Schools & The Campus Socialite

Since we had so much fun with AXE on the “Clean Your Balls” campaign, we’re rolling out a bonus contest! This time we’re asking you to scour through the AXE videos and answer some simple questions about each. All you have to do is follow @AXE on Twitter, then find the answers in the selected video and tweet them @AXE with the hashtag #AXEhunt. The more answers you find, the more likely you are to win! AXE detailers will be given out to winners everyday, and at the end one person will be selected to win a $200 grand prize (USA only please, sorry folks)!

So without further ado, here’s your first video, followed by the five questions that accompany it…THE HUNT IS ON!:

1. Where is Roy’s Nursery?

2. How does Jenna describe her twig and berries?

3. What problem does Jenna definitely not have with her twig and berries?

4. How do you get the dirt off of twig and berries?

5. What does Roy do instead of cleaning his twig and berries?