Avoiding “Shock & Awe” From Their BFF

The friend circle…If you’re dating outside of yours, you have to get use to a whole new collective of people. There’s no denying that it can be a difficult thing to do. What complicates the matter even more is what the new circle of friends can mean during a fight. Depending on how well assimilated you are, these new acquaintances can help or hinder the situation.

The question of whether or not to get the friends involved is a complex one. On one hand, it’s perfectly natural to want to go and vent to some sympathetic ears, or to ask for advice. The best asset a person can have is someone who can call them out on personal stupidity when they need it. The downside of consulting the friend circle is that it can often times result to some pretty dreadful situations…

The full-on BFF assault.

Now the person at odds (and let’s be honest, this is often times the man) is not only in a tense situation with his partner, but he’s listening to all of her friends (Carol, Sandy, and Miguel the hairdresser) tell him what an awful person he is. It not only becomes overwhelming, but it can quickly make a bad situation much worse. That Miguel can really cut a man to his core.

What’s the best way to deal with it? Are we to bear our burdens on our own or can we, within reason, seek a sympathetic ear and a bit of advice from our friends? Well, there is nothing wrong with the occasional gripe session over a pint, (beer or Ben and Jerry’s) provided that we remember to talk to that most important person of all…your guy or gal pal, of course.

Complaining is a good way to hear your own side of the story exaggerated, but relationships are two sided things after all.

Perhaps it would be worth talking about the minor transgression/federal offense that has come between the two of you now that you’ve had time to cool down. It might even work, provided that you managed to prevent the full on BFF assault.  Besides, by the time you’ve gotten around to talking about the incident of the opened mustard jar, everyone’s forgotten what all the fuss was about in the first place.

Bonus

Special section for guys:

In our opinion, it’s always a safe play to date within your established friend circle, but if you find yourself dating a new person, remember this….Her friends are just as important to please as she is. Even Carol and Miguel.