Halloween Costumes That Will NOT Get You Laid

With Halloween right around the corner, everyone is trying to pull together a costume that will get them noticed. And I’ll admit, these costumes are hilarious! But there’s a fine line between being noticed and being the douche of the party.  One simple mistake with your costume and every single girl at the party could be referring to you as the “asshole over there.”  So whatever you do, don’t pick one of the costumes below because getting a laugh from your bros is never worth going home alone.

The “Down for the Count” Costume

A blow-up doll sewn onto your crotch? That’s classy! I’m sure every lady will be dying to take the doll’s spot as soon as they see this.

The Spaghetti Penis Costume

Hey, that’s a great looking bowl of pasta you’ve got there! How come you didn’t cut up the sausage before you cooked the sauce…oh, wait a second! I think I just lost my appetite!

Edward Cullen

Unless you actually look like him, everyone’s going to be wondering who’s the pale guy with the dirty coat and wrinkled shirt?!

The Camel Toe Costume

A mullet+saggy clevage+ a camel toe = a nasty woman that looks like a dude. They’re gross on woman, what the hell makes you think they’ll  look good on a man?!

T-Shirt Costume

Oh, you’re T-Shirt is your costume? How clever…you also must be trying to tell me that you’re poor? Lazy? Boring? Depressed? Don’t like to have fun?…that’s the message I got at least!