By: Stephanie - Posted on: 29/11/2010

Signs That Your Boyfriend Might Be Gay

There is a distinct difference between your boyfriend and your gay guy friend. There’s a reason why you have both.  They each serve different purposes in your life.  However, if your boyfriend starts to remind you of your gay guy friend, you might need to reevaluate your relationship.  Be sure to flip your gaydar on and look out for the following trends in his personality…

He Really Wants to Make it to Last Call at Neiman Marcus

You’re sitting around with nothing to do and your boyfriend brings up the big sale going on at the mall. Initially you think, “Wow how lucky am I to have a guy that wants to shop?!” Then you stop and wonder…how did he know about Last Call at Neiman’s and WHY in the world does he want to go? This is where the thought crosses your mind…”could he be gay?” It’s not for sure but it is absolutely a warning sign and definitely something to take note of…

Shopping

You’re Having a Bad Day and He Suggests “Mani’s and Pedi’s…”

This is definitely a bad sign. Any manly man will laugh at the idea of getting a manicure. Although it is healthy for your nails, men associate manicures and pedicures with estrogen. It’s one thing if he gets his nails done while at the barber (no biggy) but it’s another thing when he suggests that the two of you go get mani’s and pedi’s together.  Definitely time to worry!

Mani Pedi

He Has “Oprah’s Favorite Things” in His Planner

Now I have to admit, Oprah is a Goddess to both females and males.  With that said, there’s something wrong when your boyfriend has called his roommates to make sure they DVR Oprah’s Favorite Things, not to mention he carries a planner around with it highlighted in hot pink.  It’s the last straw when he decides to skip basketball with the boys to watch Oprah with you and the girls.

Oprah

He Prefers a Toy Poodle to a German Shepherd

A real manly man likes to play with a German Shepherd or even a Golden Retriever. When your man sees a little toy poodle on the street and shrieks with excitement, we got problems. Admittedly so, those little puppies are adorable. But when your boyfriend tells you how much he wishes he could have one and dress him up in Gucci and give the thing a doggie Coach Purse, you pretty much can confirm that he’s “switched teams”.

Toy Poodle

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  • Tea

    I actually thought this article was a joke because it’s so useless and based on stupid, offensive stereotypes of homosexual men.  If you’re dating a man who’s gay but in the closet, he’s going to make dead certain that he doesn’t do anything that could be considered the least bit “gay.”  So he’s NEVER going to suggest that you go for manis and pedis together; he won’t have ANYTHING to do with Oprah or any other gay icon, and he’ll die before telling you he wants a teacup poodle to dress in Gucci.  Most of this isn’t behavior that your average gay man would engage in anyway; it’s high camp, as in John Waters/Divine stuff.  No gay man trying to pass himself off as straight would do any of that crap, so don’t waste your time sitting there with a Sherlock Holmes hat and magnifying glass waiting for him to do it — he won’t.  As for last call, since when is knowing about high end retail outlets the exclusive province of gay men?!  Since never.  Maybe his previous girlfriend dragged him there, or he just saw it when he was at Woodbury Common buying suits.  And maybe he wants to go because he wants to get you a gift (that you’ll never get, because you’ll have dumped him for being gay) and save a little money.
     
    For anyone who wants some actual helpful tips that her boyfriend might be gay, here are some real things to watch out for:
    1) anything you would look out for if he were cheating on you with a woman — calls he won’t answer in front of you, late night texts, sudden drastic changes in schedules or an increase in out-of-town trips (but if you call where he’s supposed to be, he won’t pick up); increase in amount and frequency of cash withdrawals from ATMs, etc., etc.
    2)  If you’re already involved, your sex life is somewhere between poor and non-existent.  He’s always too tired, or too stressed out.  In situations where not having sex would raise eyebrows (an anniversary), he can’t perform (when he can, it’s in total darkness and he prefers that you don’t speak or make any noise, he won’t kiss you, and it doesn’t last very long), or he fakes orgasms (yes, men can do this too).  He also doesn’t like performing oral sex on you (or just won’t do it), no matter how excellent your hygiene is, and generally avoids looking at/touching your genitals (he has an on/off relationship with your breasts).  If you’re just dating, he will take you out on a thousand dates, kiss you, cuddle with you, and even start doing boyfriend things (picking up your tampons, etc.), but he’ll never make a move; you’ll eventually have to initiate the sex, and ti will be awful.
    4) There isn’t a night of the week he’s not in church.  It’s actually fairly hilarious how many closeted gay men take refuge in the church because it’s a cloaking device that baffles gaydars everywhere.  30 years old, no women in your past or present, spending most of your free time with or working on activities for the college men’s group (presumably now as a counselor) from your church and getting resentful when your favorite members stop attending so often because they’re spending all of their time with their girlfriends?  It’s not queer if it’s for Christ!
    5)  He’s violently and vocally homophobic  Sudden, unprovoked rants, name calling, furious accusations that another man came on to him or touched him when it either didn’t happen or was clearly a misinterpretation/miscue/accident.  So in the end, for someone who hates gay men, he spends an awful lot of time talking and thinking about them. 

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