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What to do when a girl is emotionally unavailable

I had a deep connection with this girl over the past week and have never had this strong of a connection or been able to communicate so well with anyone else. i always hear that when you find "the one" that you will know, but i just dont know how thats supposed to feel...this girl feels so right and she feels the same towards me.

she is dealing with an end of a 3 yr relationship involving a 3 yr old kid (that isnt hers). the breakup ended 6 months ago and i told her the best thing to do is to cut off all communication and move on, but she would rather ease out of it gradually. she told me that she feels a strong connection and that the feelings are there, but she doesnt want anything serious and can only offer me a friendship. i have made a strong impact on her life because of how i am (a very positive person, also confident in who i am) and i KNOW that there could be something there if she lets me in. she says that making new friends/relationships is hard for her because it makes her nervous but she totally trusts me and the communication as definitely there (unlike with ANYONE else ive ever known)...if she is emotionally unavailable (which im not sure is the case or not), what should i do?

You may have more questions in which feel free to post them, as to tell the whole story would be quite lengthy. please only answer this if you have been thru this before and/or can 100% be confident in your advise. thank you =)


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mac2011over a year ago

Answer 1 of 3

you dont want damaged goods

if she was in a shitty relationship with a shitty person , no matter what connection you feel, remember one thing women hold their resentments and never forget they are a sponge for anything and everything negative things especially and if she jumps ino another relationship shes gonna sqeeze her sponge out all over you. and that. my friend could fuck up your day and or life at least temporarily

women who have issues like that are a hassle to keep a healthy relationship with and the baby doesnt help because the guy who fathers him will do everything to stay in the game so if your cool with her taking shit out on you like your him and having to see him constantly to fuk your day up go for it but there are so many more girls that are in better shape then her mentally and you probably shouldnt just settle on something as small as a "connection". i felt "connection" with lots of girls and not one has dated me it was th ones i least expected to fall in love with that took me by surprise. so jus sit back and roll with the punches and quit searching only women are supposed to search we just make the first move

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oohlookasquirrelover a year ago

Answer 2 of 3

Be supportive or move on.

So you're sleeping together but she says that she just wants to be friends, nothing serious. Your texting practices make it sound like she's into you, but maybe more as a friend with benefits at the moment rather than a serious romantic option. She has some problems to work out, and it seems like she knows that you're uncomfortable with that.

Asking a person to drop a relationship cold turkey when a kid is involved, whether that kid is hers or not, isn't very nice to that kid, by the way. I don't know the situation, but I understand why she wouldn't want to completely disappear from a child's life and not look back if she had been an important part of the kid's life before.

The night on the phone where she didn't want to talk about her insecurities makes it sound like she DID need to talk to someone about her problems, but she didn't want you to judge her and give up on a potential relationship with her, because she knows that you don't like her emotional baggage. She probably would have liked to hear, "honey, you can tell me everything. I won't judge you. I just want you to feel better, because you mean so much to me that nothing you tell me can change that." Instead, you told her that you didn't want to talk to her for a few days, making it seem like you didn't care about her problems and only want to get serious when she's rid of whatever these problems are. I

It sounds like you only want to date her if she gets over this. It sounds like she needs someone loving and emotionally supportive to help her get through it. If she's "emotionally unavailable" like this, you have three options: (1) leave her and don't look back; (2) stick with her, be supportive, and help her get through whatever is bothering her; or (3) tell her to call you when she's ready for a relationship, but that you're not going to wait around for her. With option 3, you have to tell her that you either want a serious relationship (or whatever it is you're after) or to move on, because you can't stay in relationship limbo anymore.

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Gabriel F

Gabriel Fover a year ago

Answer 3 of 3

Friendzone Warning

I am 100% confident that you are going into the friendzone. You have made a great connection with her but don't mistake that for her being attracted to you, or her being seduced by you. and she has told you that she doesn't want anything serious. If you continue to be "there for her" all you will be is a friend. She will be selfish and use you as her emotional tampon. Brother, you are better than that. If she has had a horrible relationship than don't you think she needs to be with someone that is confident like you? Men lump up connection and attraction together. But women know better, there are two different things.

Best Advice:
1. be fun and playful with her, don't let her go into to much of an emotional topic with you.
2. let her know of your intentions. "I am want to have fun"
3. Say, "Sorry to hear about your past relationship. Hopefully, he didn't mess up you image of other guys"
4. see other girls, go out and have fun. if you are hanging out with the boys don't leave everything just because she is having some issue with so and so.

how does it feel when you find the one? there are millions of people right for you. Most importantly, love is cultivated not given because of your connection. The one is a person that works on themselves, values something other than physical beauty, has hobbies other than guys, love singing in the shower, learns jokes, and is artistic...for me. Go out there and find what you like. There is no other way of finding out who is the one for you....

the biggest advice I could give you is to go to

they change my life and they can change yours, if you let them.

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