Its been a year since our break up. Together for 2 years almost 3...she actually dumped me by text two weeks before our third year. We had typical relationship issues. Disagreements of the sort. But I never disrespected the integrity of our relationship or who she was as a person. After about three months of her completely ignoring any attempt of communication with me she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore. I again was confused. Did all the wrong things. Begged and really put my pride aside and put myself out there because it was hard to believe. I saw no signs of her not being in love. It was hard. She was displaying anger towards me I have never seen for to me was no apart reason. she said she hated me everytime i tried to talk to her. said alot of hurtful things. i didnt help with the situation because at time i would get angry and lash out but i was confused. A few months ago I had finally decided to let go. She began contacting me telling me that she wanted me to be apart of my life and she wanted to be friends. We met up. I kept it cool and allowed her to do all the talking. Did not talk about the relationship. She began calling me, texting me daily, but completely ignoring everything that had happened and wanted to put the past behind us. That was extremely hard for me to do as my hurt and pain was still raw. Whenever I tried to discuss anything about what happened she would get angry at me and yell and eventually she would cease all contact. I then went NC. She attempted to contact me and i ignored it. about two weeks past and I messed up. I called and just lashed out all my anger towards her. Left three voicemails and a bunch of texts just telling her how i felt about the cruel treatment i did not deserve. Well.....now here we are. I attempted to contact her to apologize for my immature behavior and she told me to fuck off. So i apologized over text and I am leaving it alone. I just dont know how to feel anymore. I still love her...or at least I think I do....yet im so hurt at this treatment and feel angry with her. Ive gotten my life back on track where Im no longer consumed by emotions but I do think bout her alll day everyday no matter what im doing. Yet I cant let it go. What does that mean to let go when i cant get her outta my head